5 Things I've Learned So Far About Motherhood

First off let me say I am NOT a perfect Mom, not even close. These are all things I strive to do as a Mom. Somedays I do pretty good, somedays not so much.


1. You have to put your oxygen mask on first......
You can't give absolutely every ounce of yourself to your children. You will lose yourself. Taking time for yourself, spiritually, mentally, and physically makes you a better Mom. Every morning I hop on the treadmill with my ipod and enjoy doing something for myself physically. It's good thinking time, it helps my mood, and someday it will help my @$$ look smaller :) I try to fit in a few bubble baths throughout the week. Always after the boys are in bed because can you really enjoy a bath while your children are running around the house doing who knows what? I can't. I've just been trying to find little ways of fitting in things that I enjoy. I was bad at this when my oldest was a baby and after a while I felt like I had completely lost myself. I thought being a good Mom meant devoting every second of every day to my kiddos, and putting myself on the back burner.

2. Mom Guilt sucks......
I never knew how much I would beat myself up about every single thing until I had kids. Holy cow I am so hard on myself. Mommy guilt is fierce. Every night after our boys are in bed I pretty much run through everything I did wrong that day. Not spending enough one on one with each child, raising my voice, not feeding them enough veggies, letting them watch too much cartoons, you get the point. There is so much to do wrong, but what if we focus on what we do right and build from there? The great thing about being a Mom is that the next morning you can get up and try again. Focus on what you are doing right. Being a Mom is the absolute hardest job there is, (and if you try to tell me different I will cut you), go easy on yourself. I really need to take my own advice on this one.

3. Everyone has an opinion......
Everyone thinks they know everything about how to raise YOUR children. Super annoying. I've learned to just smile and in my mind picture slapping them across the face. What works for one child may not work for your child. There is no rule book on motherhood for a reason. Every child is different. Don't let others opinions make you question yourself. Go with your gut.


4. Sometimes you have to be a bitty......
I have learned you have to speak up. My two year old has had a horrible cough for over a month, the doctor shrugged it off as allergies..... turns out it's pneumonia. I KNEW it wasn't allergies, my mommy gut told me it was something more serious. I wish I would've spoke up in the doctors office weeks ago, suggested the doctor actually listen to his lungs. Instead we ended up in the emergency room with a very sick boy. Lesson learned.


5. Encourage, be patient, show affection.......
These are pretty self explanatory. I really try hard to encourage my kids. Remind them of everything they are doing right instead of everything they are doing wrong.
Patience.... something I sometimes fail miserably at but I am trying to do better. I've noticed with my two year old (who is CRAZY) if I kneel down at his eye level, take his cute chubby cheeks between my hands, and almost whisper what it is he is doing wrong, he is much more responsive than when I shout. It has worked miracles. And maybe he won't remember me as the yelling Mom after all. Affection is a big one. So important in my opinion. Kids need love. They just do. Their soul needs it. I try everyday to find cuddle time, give lots of hugs, and kisses (only to my two year old because my four year old thinks he is waaay too cool for that). I want my kids to know without a doubt that I love them.

Cameron's Weight Loss Story

This blog post is written by my brother Cameron. I hope it inspires you as much as it has me.


The year was 1999. Clinton was president, the dot com boom was in full effect, and nobody had a cell phone yet. I had my dream job of sitting in the clubhouse at Show Low County Club checking in golfers, with access to a short order cook who would cook me anything I wanted all day long. I had always been over weight and had a love of food, but looking back I think this is when things got out of control. Then I got well fed for 2 years while on a LDS mission in Cleveland, Ohio. Had to buy a bigger suit half way through. Came home and started training in the appraisal business during the refinance boom. Working 50+ hours a week and going to school at night, combined with my food addiction, resulted in my weight ballooning up to 315 pounds, size 44 pants and way too many x's on my shirt tags. Turns out starting your day with a steak and egg burrito, chased down with a 44 oz Mtn. Dew is bad for you. I was depressed inside and hated the way I looked. The wake up call came when we went to six flag's with some friends and I was too fat to ride all the fun rides. They couldn't lock in the bar on the roller coasters. All day I waited in line with everybody, tried to get on the ride, and then was told to get off because they couldn't strap my fat @$$ in. Not long after, Bethany and I went to Las Vegas for the weekend. They had an out door ice skating rink outside Ceasars Palace. I broke one of the ice skates because of my weight. This ends the sad part of my story. Life wasn't all bad. Awesome wife, great job, and played a lot of golf.
I tried many diets in mid 2000's. Atkins, weight watchers, personal trainer, lemonade cleanse, and so on. I had a hard time sticking to any of those. I had a personal trainer for 4 months and lost a whopping 11 pounds. I had a major food addiction. After some research we decided the best option for me was lap band surgery. I had lap band surgery performed in Tijuana, Mexico by Dr. Pedro Kuri. It went really well and I started losing weight fast. I didn't really change what I ate, but the band forces you to eat less and there are some things you can't really eat when the band is tight. When I started losing weight I really got into weight lifting and running. Then I got into triathlons and distance running. I got to around 250 pounds and had the band loosened all the way. I was not able to take in the amount of liquids and calories during training that is necessary to stay energized and hydrated when it was tightened. After that I kept training hard and tried to eat what I thought was healthy and was able to maintain 225-230 pounds. As hard as I tried I couldn't get below this weight.
Skip ahead three years and Bethany was pregnant with Jori, our second child. Even though I was still training hard and doing triathlons, I started gaining weight again because of how I was eating. Bethany wanted help losing the baby weight and I wanted to take control before things got out of hand. We started with our nutritionist on October 5th. At our first weigh in, I weighed 245, 25% body fat. Back to a 38 waist and an xl shirt. The last 4 1/2 months have been hard but rewarding. My diet is now based on lean protein, lots of the right fruits and veggies, complex carbs (sweet potatoes, brown rice, etc), good fats, oatmeal with flax seed, egg whites, the right nuts, and lots of water. We weigh and measure all of our food and eat at certain times of day. I workout six times a week- lots of running and weight-lifting. Getting back into the triathlon training. As of our last weigh in Monday I'm now 187 lbs and 15% body fat. I donated all my old clothes and now wear a 32-34 waist, medium shirt. I'm not saying this to brag, I just want people to see what you can do. 58 pounds in 4 1/2 months. You can do it! No crash diet, no starvation. I eat full plates of food all day long. I won't lie, its been hard. Real hard. No salt, sugar, dairy, or Buffalo Wild Wings! We've had grumpy times and fallen off the wagon here and there. That's one key to keeping it going- if you have a bad day or a bad meal, wake up the next morning, eat your oatmeal and apple, go to the gym and get back on track. Don't ever give up. No excuses. You can do it. Tomorrow is always a new day. Shut up, I said no excuses!
I don't regret having lap band surgery and I'm not ashamed to admit I have had it. It is a useful tool that helped get me on the right track. Looking back, my food addiction was so severe, I needed something that drastic for it to work. I don't think I had the will power to do it on my own in the beginning. For anybody who judges me for having weight loss surgery as an "easy fix"- I'm happy to challenge you to a pull up competition or 10k. Dr. Kuri didn't do that for me. The last 50 pounds has been all me without the help of the band. It doesn't matter either way. Less weight is less weight no matter how you do it, you feel a million times better. Anybody who has had any type of weight loss surgery has still done the majority of the work on their own and should be proud. Again, I don't write this to brag. I hope this motivates someone to start eating right and exercising. You can do it!
I also have to brag about my wife. She is back to where she was when we were married and looks amazing! I'm so proud of her!









Cameron now at 187









Cameron at 245, 4 1/2 months ago

Weight Loss Motivation

Are you trying to lose weight? I am. Feel like you are never going to reach your goal, that it's impossible? Some days I do. Well it always helps to see real people, just like you, who have reached their goal.

This is my brother Cameron. Isn't he handsome????

This is Cameron at my wedding in 2005, 128 pounds heavier than he is today.

Cameron and his wife Bethany in November.

My brother is a huge inspiration to me for many reasons, one of them being that he has lost 128 pounds. He began his journey at 315 pounds, he now weighs a very fit and healthy 187. He is a triathlete, he works out daily, he eats to live now instead of living to eat, and he enjoys life to the fullest. He is proof that you can do anything you set your mind to, your goals are completely reachable, and with hard work and determination you can achieve anything.

I was going to write his weight loss journey, but I decided he needs to be the one to do it. He will soon be a guest blogger on my blog and I look forward to reading his weight loss journey along with the rest of you.

Cameron is my one and only sibling, and I'm so lucky to have him as my brother. I'm so happy for him and so proud of him for working so hard to get to where he is. He is truly an inspiration!

Heartache Part Two

The flight home from Idaho seemed too fast. I wasn't ready to face life without my baby. I left for our trip pregnant and I returned home empty. It bothered me that life for everyone else still went on as usual. Everything in my house reminded me of my baby. The ginger ale in the fridge for my morning sickness, the box of maternity clothes at the foot of my bed ready to accommodate my expanding waistline.

The lowest point came when I had to explain to my four year old, who was so excited i was having a baby, that there was no longer a baby in mommy's tummy. We cried together while I explained that the baby went back to be with Jesus and we would see the baby again someday. That's a hard concept for a four year old to grasp.

It was a horrible few weeks. My heart literally hurt. But I was also humbled by the people around me. I have an amazing family. My mom came over and forced me to get out of my pajamas and take a shower. My husband took over most of the household chores while I sat around and felt sorry for myself. Wonderful friends checked on me often, people from my church brought in dinner.

I decided I was done being bitter, done being angry at God. I was determined to use this trial to strengthen my faith. I'm still a work in progress, I still have days of bitterness, but I've learned why we are tried during this life. It really does strengthen us, humble us, make us more worthy to be called children of God.

I've learned so much these last few months. I am stronger than I ever thought I was.

It helps to picture my baby sitting on the Saviors lap. I always think about how I would've told my baby about Jesus, but I hope He is telling my baby about me...... I'm sure he is :)

Valentine's Day

For Valentine's day I gave each of my boys a paper with all the things I love about them written on it. My four year old, who is so tender hearted, loved this more than the little thing of candy I also gave him. He kept asking me to read it to him over and over. He has carried that paper around most of the day. It made me realize how I need to tell my kids what I love about them more often. I truly believe one of the most important things we can do for our kids is to teach them how special they are, not only in our eyes but in Gods eyes. I hope my boys will grow up knowing how very special they are, that they deserve the very best of what life has to offer, and that they can do anything they put their mind to.

Happy love day.

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
"One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."


Loved this, I would just substitute Diet Coke with the coffee :)

Marriage

I love the movie 'The Notebook'. Some of the quotes in the movie sound like something that Kendall and I would say to each other. Here is my absolute favorite quote from the movie:

"That's what we do, we fight! You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass, which you are ninety-nine percent of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a two second rebound rate and then you're back doing the next pain in the ass thing. So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard and we're going to have to work at this everyday. But I want to do that because I want you, all of you, forever, you and me, everyday." Noah


I don't (usually) call my husband a S.O.B. but you get the idea. Love is hard, it's real, it takes work, every single day. Some days it sucks, most days it's awesome, and it's always worth it.

Yep my husband is a recovering "little man". So glad I was able to put a little meat on his bones!

Ahhh love. This is what I refer to as "googly eyes".

Heartache Part One

I mentioned in my profile, recently experiencing heartache. On November 30th, 2011 I had a miscarriage. I was three months pregnant. Any woman who has ever had a baby knows by three months your odds of miscarrying are very slim. I never expected to lose my baby. I had heard the heartbeat, seen its tiny little body on the ultrasound screen. I had so many hopes and dreams for this precious life growing inside me, and in an instant it was all gone.

We were in Idaho celebrating thanksgiving with my husbands family. While we were there my husband's grandmother passed away. It was during the funeral I started losing the baby. Deep down I knew what was happening but my heart still held on to hope. I will never forget laying on the table in an ultrasound room, the doctor trying desperately to find the baby's heartbeat. There was only static. That sound would haunt my dreams for weeks to come. I left that doctors office a changed woman. Later that night my husband rushed me to the emergency room. After a terrifying night in the E.R. it was over. My uterus was empty, along with my heart.